ZANG TUMMM TUMB ARTICLES “the first draft of history”

ANNE PIGALLE ‘Everything Could Be So Perfect (ZTT IQ7)

Anne Pigalle has a pout that would stop a tank at 50 yards, and a dodgy French accent. ZTT have billed her as one of those chantoosie thingies, and shes certainly absorbed all the Gallic ingredients — Juliette Greco, Edith Piaf, Josephine Baker and some Jacques Brel for good measure.

She sings about being in lifes bargain basement, the soft-hearted hooker who will love you even if you give her a hard time, but here the resemblance ends, as emotion gives way to caricature.

Edith Piaf may not have been exactly glamorous, but she distilled more sincerity in one phrase than can be found in the whole ZTT catalogue. Anne Pigalle has all the superficial attributes and more, but ultimately rings hollow. As authentic as a plastic model of the Eiffel Tower, or the Style Councils ‘Paris Match.

The polo-neck sweater brigade will probably adore it. Perhaps the whole thing is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek. But if that is true, then the joke wears thin after the first 10 minutes.

But maybe Im being too precious about the whole thing. After all, its only pop music, and as such, this is more welcome than yet another well-worn rock cliché. ‘The 1000 Colours Waltz is a goodie, the thinking mans ‘Those Were The Days, My Friend, while ‘Why Does It Have To End This Way is a cool bossa nova piece, with Trevor Horns well-padded production touches and a breathy talk-over.

ZTT, I suppose, should at least be given credit for brightening up the place, even if this album doesnt quite make it. Its good enough … but not beret good. ☆☆☆