ANNE PIGALLE ‘Everything Could Be So Perfect’ (ZTT IQ7)
Anne Pigalle has a pout that would stop a tank at 50 yards, and a dodgy French accent. ZTT have billed her as one of those chantoosie thingies, and she’s certainly absorbed all the Gallic ingredients —
She sings about being in life’s bargain basement, the soft-hearted hooker who will love you even if you give her a hard time, but here the resemblance ends, as emotion gives way to caricature.
Edith Piaf may not have been exactly glamorous, but she distilled more sincerity in one phrase than can be found in the whole ZTT catalogue. Anne Pigalle has all the superficial attributes and more, but ultimately rings hollow. As authentic as a plastic model of the Eiffel Tower, or the Style Council’s ‘Paris Match’.
The polo-neck sweater brigade will probably adore it. Perhaps the whole thing is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek. But if that is true, then the joke wears thin after the first 10 minutes.
But maybe I’m being too precious about the whole thing. After all, it’s only pop music, and as such, this is more welcome than yet another well-worn rock cliché. ‘The 1000 Colours Waltz’ is a goodie, the thinking man’s ‘Those Were The Days, My Friend’, while ‘Why Does It Have To End This Way’ is a cool bossa nova piece, with Trevor Horn’s well-padded production touches and a breathy talk-over.
ZTT, I suppose, should at least be given credit for brightening up the place, even if this album doesn’t quite make it. It’s good enough … but not beret good. ☆☆☆