ZANG TUMMM TUMB ARTICLES “the first draft of history”

Holly hacks


YOUR EVERYDAY fashion show; Frankie style. This was the spectacle thousands of schoolgirls had awaited feverishly — and they were not to be disappointed. From the ear-shattering and suspense-building fanfare to the closing beat of a second ‘Relax, they swooned, screamed and instinctively mimicked almost every known aspect of hysteria. It may well have been genuine!

During several changes of attire, Frankie managed to slip in all those favourite mega-hits, versions of ‘Get It On (for “those born to boogie”) and, predictably, ‘Born To Run, and even the Rolf Harris impersonations (“Hooh haah!“) of ‘Pleasuredome. A note perfect glimpse at their newly found prosperity. The latest step, albeit cautious, towards world domination. Sex and pornography packaged for mass consumption.

Frankie Goes To Hollywood performed. Elephant men without realising or caring. Paul Rutherford masturbated in front of the St Winifreds School Choir while his masters sold sweatshirts at 14 golorious quid each. The erosion of morals or mere disintegration of taste is allowed only when lucrative sums will be made by the business or no money will be made at all. They are pumping hard and milking dry the initial charm.

What we love or hate about Frankie is that they have played the game and seemingly beat the system. What we needed was a fresh attack. But having seemingly won, they could only become part of that system, play safe or quit. As such, we can either love, hate or become completely bored with the whole affair.

John Dingwell