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David Jordan interview

“all this stuff about fat people being fat because of society is rubbish.”

David Jordan talks apocalypse, his cat and girls with twitchy faces…

Some people consider David Jordan to be the next big hope for British soul. All we know is that his single ‘Place In My Heart is amazing and his debut album is pretty decent too.

We spoke to David Jordan recently and put to him a selection of questions based around the song titles on his album. Some worked, others sort of didnt. See for yourself…

Hello David Jordan. If you are ‘On The Money, what was the last thing you bought in a shop?

I bought some shampoo. I tend to buy from Toni & Guy because Ive had so many disasters with my hair in the past. One day I kept chemicals on my hair so long that it started burning into my scalp and it burnt my hair off. Even to this day my hair doesnt grow in certain parts of my head.

In there anyone who has a ‘Place In Your Heart at the moment?

Only my cat, and shes called Cat. Im happy with that name but she wont leave me alone. Shes cute and sweet but shes just another reason why Im never on time for anything because she commands so much of my attention. She follows me everywhere around the house — I mean everywhere. I go to the toilet, she follows me. I have a bath, she sits at the end of the bath tub…

How do you feel about the fact that the ‘Sun Goes Down about five oclock now?

Its a bit annoying isnt it. I prefer the summer when the sun stays out although I like the winter when it rains sometimes — it can be very soothing and very melancholy.

How do you ‘Set The Mood when you are hoping to seduce someone?

Ive never been seduced and I have never seduced anyone. However I do have a girlfriend who has an ‘eye-look, a ‘thing she does. It looks like shes got a twitch in her eye, and Ive told her this, but we went out in Germany and she told me she was about to use her ‘eye on this guy and it worked, the guy was really into her. I cant believe guys fall for girls with a twitch.

Can we just throw your track ‘Love Song on the enormous EU stockpile of generic love songs? Why do people only ever write songs about love?

The word ‘love can be understood in countless countries across the world. As a society we very much revolve around a particular type of love, the love we have for a ‘significant other and that is the sort of love we relate to.

Every time you hear a song that hints towards some kind of love we automatically think of our boo. Thats not the case where my album is concerned. I wrote these songs from all sides, different angles. None of them are about my cat though, thats one angle I didnt approach but will do soon.

What do we all need to ‘Move On from and get over?

People need to stop being so greedy. Its like fat people, theyre greedy, all this stuff about fat people being fat because of society is rubbish, we cant blame everything on society. Im good now, you can put a chocolate cake in front of me and I wont eat it and I never used to be able to do that.

Which of Princes William and Harry are you referring to in ‘Sweet Prince?

Neither! I prefer Princess Diana, although I really dont have a favourite royal. I dont read newspapers or watch the news, I spend all my free time watching Futurama and The Simpsons instead.

Is being ‘In Love just an overrated chemical reaction that always ends in disappointment and misery?

Well, it can be. Were all looking for that special someone and its always made out to be a beautiful fairytale thing and making out for the first time is always supposed to incredible — but you get there and think, what the hell was all that about? Its like getting married, women want to because they get to be a princess but men arent into that sort of thing.

When was the last time you had anything other than a ‘Glorious Day?

I had a really bad period of my life a few years back. All of my friends were getting recognition for their music and I wasnt, I wasnt getting any love from them either. That was the worst period I can remember, they were all working in music in one way or another and I wasnt.

What would be the first thing youd do if you woke up and you were the ‘Only Living Soul left on the planet?

Oh my God what would you do? Id be so scared! Id probably just go to the shopping malls and pig out on all the crap I could for the next couple of days and once all the food had gone off Id just die no doubt. Id have to find other life to keep the species going or just perish. Im gonna fight and if I survived the holocaust then there was sure to be a reason why. You could have a really good time in a shopping mall though, finding what you want to wear, Id be the last man on earth but Id make sure I was the best dressed man on the planet.

If were going to ‘Fight The World, what exactly are we going to fight against?

Terrorism. And George Bush, hes the worst terrorist of all. Terrorism and war, we live in a beautiful world and its truly amazing. The people in the world are the reality though and we are our own downfall.

What a bleak way to end things. Thank you nonetheless, David Jordan.