ZANG TUMMM TUMB ARTICLES “the first draft of history”

Actually Frankie tell Whispers that theyre bored stiff in their palatial Irish gaff. Indeed when Whispers suggested a spot of fishing Ped rolled over and went to sleep with a terse “Fish in? Thats a bit excitin isnt it?”

Holly Johnson has even had his ma send his TV set over. While hes watching MTV the Lads have been holding daredevil racing stunts from the gaff to the nearest town. The record for an 18 mile journey was 18 minutes… until Whispers arrived and smashed that by taking three minutes off! Mark OToole was hopping mad and retaliated with Nash and Ped smearing butter and cream over the windscreen of Whispers‘ Toyota Cressida. Such bad losers!

The Lads own rentamobile causes quite a stir when they take it down to the local. Its got bananas stuck to the windscreen wipers and the aerial, so if youre in Southern Ireland and a banana whizzes past your ear doing a ton youll know who it is.

Ped and Whispers went to Dublin club The Pink Elephant for a jar or two. Who should be at the next table but Peds heavy metal heroes Def Leppard. Spandau and Frankie have been having a few sessions together which usually end up with John Keeble throwing up, and theres a story about Steve Norman and a glass that propriety forbids us to mention (the usual in used readies please Steve)…