ZANG TUMMM TUMB ARTICLES “the first draft of history”

Peds kind of girl

Liverpudlian stud seeks skirt for non-stop partying

Looks: Like she goes on an 18-30 holiday twice a year and is a regular at Cinderellas nightclub where she goes with three mates and dances round the handbags.

Clothes: Tight white trousers, VPL, high heels, strapless lurex tops and anything that goes with Farrah Fawcet flick backs.

Music: Donna Summer.

Reads: The Sun.

Drinks: Pernod and lemonade/cocktails with really big umbrellas.

TV: The Price Is Right, Surprise Surprise.

Very good at: Whatever ‘Relax was about.

You dont have to: Worry about farting in public.

You must never: Hide his Sootys Xylophone.