ZANG TUMMM TUMB ARTICLES “the first draft of history”

Wow! Im in 3-D (Dont adjust your eyes!)

Yep, here it is — a unique opportunity to see soulful sauce god Seal as he really is!!! (Oo-er missus!) With the aid of your exclusive Number One 3-D specs, you can not only marvel at our piccie but be the first on your block to see his fantastic new ‘Killer vid in its full glory! Oh, were so good to you, it hurts. Going Live! will be first to show the video, this Saturday, so get your glasses at the ready. In the meantime, Number One caught up with the man himself on his tour.

Sealhenry Samuel reclines in a dusty chair, peels an orange and watches in amusement as his manager fools around with a packet of Maltesers. Halfway through his first ever tour, the leather-kekked sauce god is catching a rare opportunity to just chill out, talk about the recent rugby results and chat to Number One.

“Hows it going, geezer?” is the way he greets the friends and colleagues who drift in and out of his makeshift dressing room, finalising the arrangements for his Wolverhampton show. Having just posed for the rather wonderful 3-D shot you see before you (remember to pop on your lovely 3-D glasses!) and with a rather nifty (nay, mind-blowing) video for his ‘Killer single finished, Seals schedule has been busy but the mood is, erm… relaxed. “Its the first time Ive ever done any 3-D pictures”, he explains, chewing on an orange segment or two. “So its all quite a new experience. I dont know how theyll turn out but I tried to do some action stuff, so hopefully theyll be pretty good.”

So are you interested by the jiggery-pokery, new-fangledautomatic-daffodils, state-of-the-art, technological side of things?

“Yeah. The new video emphasises that. Its done with something called, erm… (turns to Malteser-munching manager) whats that technology called?”

His manager attempts to explain the brain-numbing boffin side of things and the amazing equipment used. None of which is comprehendable.

“There you go!” offers Seal helpfully.

HUNKSTER GRUMPSTER

The dreadlocked soulman features quite highly in the hunkster ratings. Posters galore adorn the walls of admirers the land over. But how does the man himself feel about jumping around in front of a camera then?

“Well, if I feel I dont want to do it, I usually just dont turn up to the shoot. Then again, sometimes you have to do things you dont want to, because otherwise, they can be destructive to your career.”

Quite.

The video for Seals ‘Killer, a different version of the hit he had with Adamski, uses an amazing mixture of 3-D effects and interstellar scenes. Whats even more special about it is that it can only be fully appreciated, in all its stunning glory, when seen through the exclusive Number One monocle attached to the specs on the little old front cover! Exciting or what?!

But tell us, Seal old chap, was it fun to make?

“Oh, it was all right”, he offers. “I find videos really boring to make. You have to go over the same bits of the song and give the same performance umpteen times, so its a fairly tedious process.”

Oh, erm… well, there must have been one vid you enjoyed? “Yeah, I enjoyed the ‘Crazy one; I enjoyed that very much. I got really into that.”

Hurrah!

SEWING AND STUFF (apparently)

Theres a lot of messing around with dolphins, fireballs and funny-shaped guitars in the new vid, but whats the main theme?

“Its about space travel, I suppose. A kind of Man Who Fell To Earth (weirdo ‘70s film starring Mister David Bowie as an alien sort) type thing.”

A spooksome kind of chappie too, this Seal, judging by the mystical bits.

“Yes, theres a spiritual element in most things I do. I used to chant.”

You used to what?

“I used to practise Buddhism and chant ‘Namya Ho A Rengye Kyo. Basically, its a quote from something called the Gosho (a series of letters written by an ancient Japanese Buddhist monk, apparently) and it puts you in touch with the thread of life.”

Cough.

WOULDNT GIVE A MONKEYS!

Britain is not the only joint thats jumpin to Seals ‘vibes, as they say. Recently, the shiny one has been on the other side of the Atlantic, testing the waters in America. The trip was not without its mishaps however.

“We rented a house out there,” he explains. “One day, the alarm went off and the police came round. They thought we were burglars and there wasnt anyone to verify my existence in the house. I dont think theyd give a monkeys about who I was anyway.”

Does a popstrel like Seal miss his pals while traipsing across the globe in the name of rockity roll and so forth.

“Yeah, there are those, like my parents and friends, but my best friend always comes with me, so its all right.”

Anxious to rest his voice for the nights performance, Seal graciously makes his apologies and departs. Hours later, the concert hall fills with people, buzzing with anticipation. Seal appears from behind white curtains and a roar goes up. To the delight of the crowd, the leather-coated one launches into a magnificent show, packed with soul, rock and a little of his own titbits.

As Seal paces the stage, whistling through his fingers, clapping and letting that rich, gravelly voice rip through the air, he has the crowd in his hand. As the screams of his adoring fans increase, his words fly back.

“Fame has changed me in some ways, yeah. But I think Ive changed fame more than its changed me.”

YOUR 3-D SPECS SIGNED SEALED AND DELIVERED

3-D specs, hey! What on earth are they all about?

No, its not because we think all you lot have three eyes, but because you need different lenses to look at our fab pic of Seal on page 7, and you also need a special lens to peek at his amazing 3-D video on Going Live! next Saturday.

To check out our poster of Seal, you need the red and green glasses, with the red bit over your left eye and the green one over your right.

Then on Saturday November 9, when youve tuned in to Going Live! to watch the ‘Killer… On The loose video, you need the grey one over your right eye and nothing over your left eye. (If you have the green bit over your left eye, you wont see a thing).

Erm… easy huh!?

So, as youve probably gathered by now, you need to cut the glasses as marked, otherwise you wont be able to see the 3-D effect.

Lawks-a-lordy and happy viewing!