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Title: No.1 New Act

No.1 NEW ACT

“We’ve won the best new act. That figures. We are.

“Do we get a prize? I want a gold plated turd.

“It doesn’t bother me that Duran and Wham beat us out in best act overall. These matters are up to the fans. We’ve still has a great year. It’s been a laff.

“Duran Duran’s ‘Wild Boy’s won best single? What can I say? I’m choked. Not a very individual record.

“Holly should have won best singer because he’s more of a psycho on stage that those others. He gives it loads more.

“Didn’t the lads come anywhere in the best dressed list? I shoulda won that. I wear dirty T-shirts and scruffy jeans. Maybe I’ll start wearing a whistle and flute and shave me head and eyebrows. The lads ‘ll have to experiment with a bit of eye shadow and lippy.”

Ped, Frankie