ZANG TUMMM TUMB ARTICLES “the first draft of history”

One to 1

We would like to thank Holly, Paul and the lads for everything—and we mean everything.

An extra special thanks to Holly (he knows why) but modesty prevents us from telling you (your secret is safe with us, honey). So until our next meeting…

Yel, Fifi and The Black Yamba.

PS Next time well supply the fresh cream.

Great, and well bring the doughnuts.


A reader wrote in a while back protesting about the fix on the “Meet Wham” comp. For all I care she can have both of them. I wouldnt go to France if you paid me.

Just as long as its fixed for me when theres a “Meet Frankie” comp. Id better win or therell be trouble my son.

By the way Im sweet 16.

Sian Newman alias Hollys Spotted hankie.

Sixteen we can believe. Sweet? Hmmm…


Ugh! Disgusting! British entertainers are really weird. First theres that painted fat maypole Boy George followed by something called Marilyn.

Next comes Dead Or Alives singer who shaves his legs and prances around stage in a strapless outfit swinging his bare hips in such a ghastly fashion it made me queasy.

And Id like to know where The Cures singer gets his haircut. Uranus?

Then theres gays who call themselves Frankie Goes To Hollywood. The way theyre going theyll never get to Hollywood.

And how dare Nashers Gorgeous Body dare criticise George Michael? I think hes just great and ‘Two Tribes deserved to be kicked off the top spot for being such a boring…

Lady Limahl, Singapore.

Thats quite enough of that nonsense. Limahl wears more make-up than all the boys on No.1 put together. Even as we speak Paul Bursche is frantically shaving his armpits.