ZANG TUMMM TUMB ARTICLES “the first draft of history”

Whispers

Finished the last of your turkey sarnies? Getting a bit stale now, arent they? Well never mind, thereve been plenty of other stale turkeys around over the festive season.

The very wonderful Marilyn spent most of his Christmas doing laps of honour at Culture Club concerts. Maz will have his own album ‘Despite Straight Lines out next year so this shameless display wasnt just basking in the Boys glory. Honest…

Talking of Boy George, hope you enjoyed his sparkling interview with Paul Weller in our Xmas ish. George sat up all night typing the piece out and then brought it in personally, causing chaos at Commonwealth House.

Pausing to plonk himself in the Bosss chair and remarking, “Yes, I could fit in here”, George set off again—only to find two traffic wardens waiting to present him with a ticket. To sign, of course…

Shriek! Watch out! Whispers fans in Sheffield are advised to be extra careful crossing the road. Glenn Gregorys bought his Mum a spanking new deluxe Mini Metro for Christmas…

Sheffields other famous son Phil Oakey has returned to his pot-holing after turning up to make a brief appearance with Alvin Stardust over Crimbo…


Dusty Hill of guitar-toting ZZ Top continues to makes good recovery after accidentally shooting himself In the stomach. Has anyone ever thought of lending Black Lace a machine gun?


More appeal records. UB40, Madness and The Special AKA are rumoured to be getting together to record ‘Starvation, an old Pioneers song produced by Jerry Dammers. Proceeds are to go toward the good fund for Ethiopia…

UB40 are all-round good boys at the moment. They and Frankie saw the New Year in on MTV. Strange to say it was actually the Yewbees who got the prime slot at midnight, rather than the mighty Franks. Last year MTV had A Flock Of Seagulls doing the honours so its good to see that America will start the year off out of touch as usual…

Ace club opener Steve Strange is at it again. His new venture is called The Playground and opened amid a flurry of dancing from Police man Andy Summers, Paul Rutherford, Mark OToole and Nasher from Frankie, Marilyn, Philip Sallon and Morrissey. This first bash was at the Lyceum but Steve intends to move the club to greener pastures. He wants to find a club which will let him put real swings up. Yes, we thought so too. Well keep you posted…


Marillion, despised by some, hated by most, had the last laugh the other night as they were presented with a clutch of gold and silver discs after three sell-out nights at the Odeon. Fish celebrated in customary style by molesting all the women In sight (and Debbi Voller).


Howard Jones kicked off 1985 with a brand new look. The affable one can now be seen performing in lots of nice silk clothes and a wacky Mohican haircut. He no longer plays on his own but has a band backing him up, the bass player being his brother Martin.

During his Albert Hall show Howard showed what a nice guy he is by donating all the proceeds to Ethiopia.

At the party afterwards Howie immersed himself deep in conversation with Eurythmic Dave Stewart and a faintly bemused John Taylor, who was later seen sifting on the stairs reading No.1. The moral being, No.1 is more interesting than a chat with Howard Jones. Surely not!…

Twas a roight royal gathering up in Edinburgh. Spandau Ballet completed a great Princes Trust concert, met and were congratulated by Prince Charles himself, and generally had a good ol time. The sickliest note of the evening came when the Spands presented Charles with two platinum discs, one for William, one for Harry.

Bluurgh! Back to the turkey sarnies…


Director: “OK, Paul, understand you want to advertise yourself on a lonely hearts video.”

Paul: “Sure do.”

Director: “Okay, cameras are rolling—fire away.”

Paul: “My name is Paul Rutherford, Im over 6ft tall with a hunky physique, dinky moustache, pierced nipples and…

Director: “Hang on, hang on, Paul. Forget the nipples, OK?”

Paul: “Oh, right. Erm… dinky moustache, playing card tattooed on my left arm…”

Director: “No, no… Forget the card too, OK?”

Paul: “OK, OK, fair enough. Dinky moustache, technicolor shorts with a hamster down the front…”

Director: “Lets forget the hamster as well…”

Paul: “What should I say, then?”

Director: “Just say what sort of girl youre looking for.”

Paul: “Fine, fine. Six foot tall, hunky physique dinky moustache, pierced nipples…”