ZANG TUMMM TUMB ARTICLES “the first draft of history”

Claim to fame special

We had so many enquiries as to just how one goes about getting in the hallowed Claim To Fame pages that we finally decided that something had to be done about it.

So (fanfares), here it is (loud cheers etc), the No.1 Guide To Getting On With Your Popstar!

  1. The reader spots said popstars, say at the Virgin Megastore, Torquay where they may be doing a PA. The main skill here involves sidling up to them without being seen by the burly security person.
  2. Having dragged your chosen star Into the sunlight (some may well protest at this), you may then need to coax them into looking at the camera. Some of these stars are naturally shy.
  3. Success of sorts. Star pulls suitably wacky pose, you nestle up to them and adopt chosen smile of your own. Many would give up here, but youre a No.1 reader, so…
  4. Pull celeb towards you, keeping a firm grip on his collar. Many will attempt to struggle free at this point. Say, “Ah, cmon, be a sport!” If other people are there they can scarcely resist.
  5. Thats it! Star has now decided that hell give you a quick peck. Be careful here, other band members may vent out their envy by scribbling silly things on your back.
  6. Bonzo. The true fans dream, a “frenchy” with your idol. Forget about school, forget about the 2000 people watching you. ENJOY!
  7. Thats it. Youve done it. Both of you can now collapse with relief. Ignore whats written on your back, in fact dont wash it off. In ten years time it could be worth a lot of money. Now, has your friend had their camera at the ready? If so, whisk your snap to Claim To Fame. Easy, isnt it?